Five Rules for Avoiding Moral Trouble
Ministry is a privilege that comes with a heightened level of accountability. To help you avoid compromising situations, consider the following five rules from Christianity Today:I will not, under any circumstances, ride alone in a car with a female other than my wife or an immediate family member.
I do not counsel a woman in a closed room or more than once.
I do not stay alone in a hotel overnight.
I speak often and publicly of my affection for my wife, when she’s present and when she’s not. Marriages that are failing often become silent in public before they become loudly negative. If a pastor neglects publicly affirming his wife, it may reveal a private deterioration of that relationship.
Compliment the character or the conduct, not the coiffure or the clothing.
These are five great examples of rules that you should have for yourself to help keep you morally accountable. You don’t have to use these same rules, but be sure that you establish some guidelines of conduct.What rules would you add to the list?
Jake Danger sez:
Why not just have the women all wear burquas and the men all take those drugs to eliminate their sex drive like they do to sex offenders? Moral fiber is the ability to resist temptation, not skill at running and hiding from it. Of course every man has his limits and should know them well (which is why Paul advised Timothy to "run from anything that stimulates youthful lust"), but we should be encouraging people to gradually develop the ability to withstand temptation by remembering what is truly important to them.
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If a man is so weak that he can't be in a room alone with another woman without being in danger of cheating on his wife, then he needs to work on his marriage and his character, not add another 157 rules to his already bulging "rule library". It's a perfect example of what Paul spoke of as living under the law, not under grace.
For the ultimate results of a morality based on rules, see Ted Haggard, Jimmy Swaggert, etc. Or better yet, see above: "I speak often and publicly of my affection for my wife, when she’s present and when she’s not. Marriages that are failing often become silent in public before they become loudly negative. If a pastor neglects publicly affirming his wife, it may reveal a private deterioration of that relationship." So here we have a leading Christian magazine teaching ministers to actively deceive their congregation in order to conceal marital problems. Perhaps in order to preserve the illusory "moral authority" to lecture parishoners on how to run their own marriages? Unbelievable.
Basing righteousness on rule after rule is like trying to save a dying rosebush by propping up its leaves with a system of ropes and pulleys. Try watering the plant. That's why Jesus told the woman at the well he had "living water", and that's why he gave the parable of the vine.
One more point before I finish my verbose little rant - the world will attack us and slander us, and if we let their gossip run our lives then we will be paralyzed. I can think of many instances when I have led so-called "bad girls" to Jesus' doorstep while present in places (like girlie bars) where no "decent" Christian would be caught dead.
Would it have been better for me to avoid temptation and let the "bad girls" go to Hell? Or wait till they show up in church (about the time Hell freezes over)? After all, Jesus associated with a known prostitute and notorious sinners, and as a result he was called a glutton and a winebibber. But that didn't stop him, thank God.
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